Happy September! Summer is over and a new school year begins. This is one of my favorite times of the year, even after being in school for 17 straight years. While it’s nothing like autumn in California, the changing of the seasons in Taiwan evokes a distinct feeling. Maybe it’s the switch from iced to hot lattes, the nights that seem cool enough for a sweater but somehow end up humid and sticky, the light spray of typhoons as they approach land. It really feels like a new season has begun.
Summer went by quickly for me. It was well-spent with good friends, good food and many adventures. But the bulk of my time was spent in Chinese class. Besides vocabulary and grammar structures, it taught me a lot about myself and the way I approach learning the language.
Learning Chinese has been a journey that has taken more than 10 years, on and off. This summer, I realized that my biggest hurdle in learning Chinese has been my own fear. I was scared that, somehow, after all these years of Chinese classes, I still didn’t know how to use the language. That’s why I started my companion Instagram blog: to get over that fear. I let my friends publicly correct my errors, and got used to making mistakes.
Honestly, I felt a lot better about sharing my mistakes after just a few posts. But I didn’t just want to enlist my friends as unpaid teachers. So after a two-year hiatus from Chinese class and speaking Chinese in general, I enrolled in a course at National Taiwan Normal University’s Mandarin Training Center. In the heritage Chinese class, I finally broke a little bit past the imposter syndrome I had hid behind for so long.
Where did it all begin?
As a kid, my sister and I enrolled in the Saturday Chinese classes that are the bane of every ABC child’s existence. We always thought it was pointless because we only spoke English at home: our dad could speak Mandarin and our mom knew Cantonese. We struggled through it for six years, then quit.
High school provided another opportunity to study Chinese, but the way the class was specifically aimed at “heritage” Chinese made me feel like I didn’t quite belong in the class. I would be graded against other Chinese American students who I knew spoke Chinese at home with their parents, attended after-school programs taught in Chinese, and were “more Chinese” than me. I opted for Spanish instead.
In college, I started studying Chinese again. By that time, I had realized I was actually good at learning languages and even enjoyed it. I started back at square one, learning how to tell directions and the most basic sentence structures. I was surprised to find out that I remembered more than I thought from the Saturday Chinese lessons. Tones rolled smoothly off my tongue and I picked up phrases from my favorite Mandopop songs, sprinkling them into my vocabulary. I ended up spending two summers in Taiwan, and taking Chinese classes for the rest of my time at USC. But the second I stepped out of the classroom, I stopped using Chinese.
Re-learning, again
Learning Chinese again this summer has been eye-opening, as I've met "heritage" speakers of all different backgrounds and learning experiences. It's made me feel more confident in my progress. Even if I'm not fluent still, learning Chinese is a huge hill to climb, and our progress can be measured in various ways.
Last month, I passed a new milestone in my Chinese language-learning journey. I interviewed experts and strangers who entrusted me with representing their work and lives in the articles I wrote for my journalism internship. While not all of my interviews went as smoothly as I'd hoped, my friend Isaac reminded me that this only meant I was making a breakthrough, and that I would improve with time. Listening to my Chinese on tape also helped me identify areas to improve on (although I still cringed when I listened to the recording). And for every tough interview, I had ones that felt more natural, conversational.
It makes me proud that my family has started speaking Chinglish in our FaceTime calls. I'm proud that my mom has started to learn Mandarin since I moved to Taiwan, so that when she visits me she can get around by herself. And I'm proud that every time I talk to someone in Chinese, for any discouragement I feel, I feel even more encouraged from my friends and family, the people that count.
As I embark on my second semester of re-learning Chinese again, I'm looking forward to making more breakthroughs, toughing out more conversations in Chinese and appreciating the process.
Where I've been:
- Pinglin (坪林), a cute tea farming area in New Taipei City. Amazing tea leaf oil fried tofu and an interactive tea history museum, the perfect day trip. Read my post about it on Instagram!
- The American Military Village on Yangmingshan looked something like home, and something like a movie. My friend Steven said the houses looked more southern-style, a far cry from my childhood in suburban California. We ate ice cream at Brick Yard 33 1/3, a huge one-story canteen in an old American Military Club building, with polished concrete floors and decor that truly takes you out of Taiwan. It reminded me of the scene from "American Girl" (美國女孩) when the mom takes her daughters to eat ice cream since they miss the U.S. so much.
What I've been reading:
- “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn: Really chilling and really thrilling, this one got me back into reading after a long break. Will be watching the film once the boyfriend returns :)
- “Green Island” by Shawna Yang Ryan: This one has been on my list for a long, long time. During the martial law period in Taiwan, a doctor is taken away and nothing is ever the same for his family again. An essential novel to understanding the White Terror period and its impact on historical memory.
What I've been watching:
After reading “Gone Girl” last month, I needed a mental break. I cleansed myself with some feel-good films and shows, like "Heartstopper" and "Partner Track" (both on Netflix).
- “Heartstopper”: The cutest teenage romance. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing out loud while watching this one. Only eight 30-minute episodes, perfect for my attention span. Plus, the soundtrack is amazing.
- “Partner Track”: This one kept me hooked. Adapted from Helen Wan's novel of the same name, "Partner Track" stars Arden Cho as Ingrid Yun, an ambitious lawyer hoping to get a major promotion at the firm. It shows the truth of what being a "model minority" really means, and the struggles between keeping your integrity and listening to authority. As a bonus, Ingrid is also a physics nerd, so each episode starts off with a law of physics (a more romantic science than chemistry, IMO). Stream to get her a season 2!
Thanks to everyone who's subscribed so far, and a special thanks to Michelle and Albert at A Broad and Ample Road for sharing my blog, and John for editing. And thank you to my MTC classmates, for all your encouragement and support.
Diagnose me in Chinese